On Board, I'm The Captain.
I don’t like it when Ryan says sentences really slowly with big pauses.
Gavin Free, recognizing danger when he hears it (via bloodykinghaywood)

lord-of-the-inferno:

Watch me bring the ruckus in this melee-only section in Destiny. It really serves as a good example of how I charge in and somehow survive despite being at the brink of death most of the time.

(I recommend setting it to 720p if it doesn’t automatically.)

waitinforthebus:

what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate 

heyitspj:

[walks up to a straight couple] so which one of you is the dayman and which of you is the nightman

demoncest:

i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye

trash-king:

meaniemikan:

trash-king:

when none of ur internet friends are online

timezoned again

clockblocked

FUCK

clumsyisdefinatelysquidgirl:

why the fuck would God send down the cure for aids in a baby he knows is gonna get aborted

GOD CAN SEE THIS SHIT COMIN HES NOT GONNA BE LIKE DAMN FOILED AGAIN BY PRO-CHOICERS

cognitivedissonance:

And murderous police officers. They’re cool with them too.

bombing:

one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you

fckthestate:

bonsaibabe:

i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition

this sounds like a plot for a goosebumps book about goosebumps books

gaaraofsburbia:

applecranberry:

ruraljackdaw:

thetowndrugdealer:

*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do

officialputin:

putins-boyfriend:

putins-girlfriend:

yourtubes:

reblog if your url represents who you really are 

I am really Putin’s girlfriend

then we have a problem

I can explain it

wimey:

what not to wear: rings of power